This whole dating thing was getting kind of boring. Things weren’t going well with #3, and I wasn’t really messaging with anyone on Tinder either. When you match with someone, they show up at the top of your screen. Once you start messaging with a match, they appear down below that. I had 40 matches sitting at the top of the screen, and no one was messaging me. I’ve never been the type to wait for a guy to approach me though, so one Sunday afternoon I said fuck it. I went through and I messaged every single one of those 40 matches. A handful of them were bound to message me back, and out of that handful, maybe one or two, would be half-way decent to talk to. At this point, I still wasn’t really trying to find the man of my dreams. I just wanted someone cool to hang out with. If a sexy dad just so happened to grab the same apple as me at the grocery store though, I’d be all for it.
I usually swipe left, give or take, about 50 times before I find someone who makes me swipe right. Sometimes, because you’ve got to set an age range and a radius to look for potential matches, you come across the same ones over, and over again. Yawn. I was starting to think I had drained Tinder of any potential matches in my area. Maybe I should break down and join one of the other dating sites. Then, all of a sudden, there he was: Sexy Dad.
I had never seen a more handsome man with a kid in all of my life. It was as if the Tinder Gods had hand-picked this beauty just for me. I sat there flipping back and forth between his pictures for several minutes in disbelief. I knew what I had to do. That little blue “Super Like” star was created for a man like him. Remember how I said I always accidentally Super Liked the weirdest people? Well the free version of Tinder only gives you so many Super Likes at a time, and in that moment I realized I didn’t have one to use. At this point I panicked! I didn’t want to just swipe right and hope for the best. I HAD to Super Like him! It was my only chance in guaranteeing he’d at least see my face. As I’m trying to decide what to do next, I accidentally swiped left. He was gone! Fuck!
There’s also a rewind option for when you accidentally swipe left on someone you liked. The only problem was, that option isn’t included in the free version of Tinder. I took a deep breath, and realized I knew what I had to do. This was obviously fate I was dealing with here, and a man like that doesn’t just pop up on your Tinder feed every day! I did what any reasonable person would do. I pulled out my shiny red MasterCard, and bought a month of Tinder Gold. It was only $30 people. That’s like a tank of gas. You can always make more money; you can’t always find another sexy dad. I clicked the rewind button to bring his profile back, and then clicked on the little blue star. I realize now, that this could have totally gone the other way. He could have gotten the notification that he’d been Super Liked, saw my face, and said “Nah.” In that moment though, I was just so damn sure that this was all meant to be. Now, all that was left to do was wait.
The next morning I woke up to a message. It was him. He had swiped right! I could have died and gone to heaven. I was more excited than a kid on Christmas. However, I realized that it now said he was many more miles away from me, so I asked him where he lived. Turns out he was only just visiting, and he lives in a completely different state, 4.5 hours away from me. (Insert sad violin music here.) I decided that the Tinder Gods couldn’t possibly be wrong, and where he lived could easily be a day trip, so we started talking.
When I would tell my friends about my dates, I actually referred to them as Bachelor #1, 2, and 3. I didn’t see the sense in keeping up with names since nothing serious would come out of any of this. This one was different though (here’s that word again) because I never referred to him as Bachelor #4. I always called him by his name. I loved his name, and I just really felt like this one could be something more. So, for this post we aren’t going to call him #4. I’ve thought long and hard about what his alias should be and I finally figured it out. I mentioned in a previous post that I’m a total Disney junkie. Well, I’m really banking on the fact that y’all are going to get this reference. Please, for the love of donuts, tell me you’ve seen Frozen. Bachelor #4 is going to play the part of Hans. Hold on now, I’m not naming him that because he turned out to be evil in the end. I’m naming him that because I was Anna. I was crazy, head over heels, wanting to marry a man I just met, Anna. Keep this in mind as we proceed, because I totally lost all common sense.
We sent a few messages back and forth about the things we liked and our kids. It was the day before Halloween, and I was busy making my costume, so I decided to give him my number right away. I had such a good feeling about Hans. We talked about everything from the music we liked, where we grew up, to what we were dressing up as for Halloween the next day. We even jumped right into sending pictures back and forth of us and our kids, because he’s a single dad and he gets it. All of his pictures were of him and his little one, doing all kinds of fun things. I’d be lying if I told you that my ovaries weren’t trying to jump out of my abdomen at this point. A great dad is a huge turn on. A very sexy, great dad is like the equivalent of Brad Pitt to me.
Two days into talking to this man and I was completely smitten. I got the “good morning beautiful” text messages, and within just a few days he was already calling me “baby” and “love”. Every text, every picture he sent, my heart was completely melting. I was so crazy about a man I had never even met in real life. The few other people I had been messaging at this point, all of a sudden meant nothing and I pushed them all away. I knew this was insane, but he seemed just as into me, so we had to make a plan to meet.
Between having our kids on opposite weekends most of the time, and me working weekends quite often, it was going to be hard to figure this out. The more I talked to him though, I knew I wanted to meet Hans as soon as I could. We were talking about the things we wanted in a partner, how we couldn’t wait to finally meet in person, and even plans for the future. I knew this whole thing was moving at light speed, but I didn’t care, my common sense flew out the window 4 days ago. I had even told him how I paid real money to Super Like him, and he told me he’d be forever grateful that I went out of my way to reach out to him.
I managed to figure out a way to see him two weeks before Thanksgiving, which means I could also see him Thanksgiving weekend if I could get rid of my shifts at work. I was so excited! I had mediation with X (finally!) that Friday, and I was going to leave right afterwards to make the drive to him. Could there be a more perfect way to close one chapter of my life and open the next one?! I’ve always believed strongly that things happen for a reason. There was a reason he was driving through town. I was meant to see him; he was exactly what I was looking for! The universe was speaking to me and I was going to listen! All I had to do was get through the next week and I’d finally be in his arms.
The next week was the longest week of my life. I started to tell my friends and family about my plans. Rightfully so, they were totally freaking out. I think most of them were in a state of shock, just watching in disbelief as I completely lost my mind. I remember driving in the car with my mom, and we were talking about how you can’t trust anyone these days. How so many things come out in the news about these “good” people and how they were really shady all along. My mom turns to me and says, “And you’re confused as to why I’m worried about you making this trip?” I looked at her and said, “Yeah, I kind of backed myself into a corner on that one, didn’t I?”
To be continued…