I spent the last 3 months of 2017 living the beginning of my first ever dating journey. I laughed, I cried, and I learned a whole fucking lot about myself, and dating in general. I started this blog because everyone was constantly asking me about my dates. Everyone seemed so intrigued by it. (Especially the fact that I was willing to drive hours for a chance at love!) The people that are too nervous to try online dating wanted to know what it was like. The people that have had bad luck with online dating secretly wanted me to have the same. The committed/married ones wanted to live vicariously through me. I made a promise to myself that I would be raw and real about each and every story, and I’ve done just that. Sure, there are details here and there that I’ve left out. Mostly things that I don’t feel add to the story. Everything I’ve written has actually happened, and I’ve shared my real feelings about all of them. So, what have I learned?
What I’ve learned about dating: It. Is. Exhausting. It’s like a constant interview process. At first it seems fun, right? You mean I can look at this menu of potential mates and choose the one I like the best? Someone is going to buy my dinner for me for a change? I can have a conversation with an adult without a 4 year old interrupting? It quickly goes downhill from there though. You realize that the majority of these idiots are single for a reason, the fun part wears off, and then dating starts to feel like a full time job. Most people you match with can’t carry a conversation if their life depended on it. The ones that seem interested, and do actually talk to you, will most likely send you dick pics the first chance they get. If by some crazy miracle you get to the actual date part, you realize they are crazy just like the rest of them. 2017 was all about Tinder. In 2018 I decided to give some other sites a try, so I have a few new stories to share!
What I’ve learned about myself: That my glasses really aren’t so bad after all! I’m not kidding though. The one thing that I thought would for sure turn guys off, for some strange reason, turns them on. Maybe it’s some weird school girl fantasy? I don’t know. Whatever it is, I’m glad, because I kind of need them to see. Mostly what I’ve learned though is that I’m perfectly okay with just being me. I’ve met enough people to know that if one doesn’t like you (or is a total dud) there’s another one right behind him. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so I don’t need to settle for just any old anchovy. I think I’m pretty damn okay, and someone out there is going to think that too.
Now on to the fun part! I wanted to ask my girls some questions about dating. I decided early on that I would let my girls be involved in this. They haven’t met any of the guys I’ve gone on dates with (that will only happen when I find someone worth keeping around) but they have looked at their pictures, and even helped me swipe a little on the dating apps. They get a pretty good kick out of it, and I want them to see it as a fun experience. So, here are the questions, and their answers. I promise you that I did not edit their responses whatsoever. (Except that one really questionable comment my 8 year old made! LOL)
- What do you think dating is?
8 year old: Dating is when you find someone, date them, they tell you about themselves, and you see if you like their personality or not.
4 year old: I don’t know. That’s a hard question. I think when you get close to marrying someone?
- How do you feel about your mom dating?
8yo: I like that she dates because she meets new people to see if they will be our Step Daddy. (Lord help me!)
4yo: I feel good.
- How does your mom choose a date?
8yo: Off a dating website
4yo: Going on the website.
- Has your mom REALLY liked any of the Bachelors?
8yo: Yes, she really liked Hans.
4yo: Yeah, the one she was about to marry. (She’s a trip!)
- Does she still like any of them?
8yo: Yeah she still likes Hans.
4yo: Yeah, Hans. (I mean, they’re not wrong…)
- Which one would you choose for her? Why?
8yo: Hans, because that’s the one she likes the most, and it seems like she likes him a lot and she won’t stop talking about him. (Come on kid, I talk about other things!)
4yo: The cowboy, cause she likes cowboys! (For the record, I never actually met this one! But I do like cowboys.)
- Do you want your mom to find a boyfriend?
8yo: Yes, I do!
- If you wrote your mom’s dating profile, what would it say?
8yo: I’m pretty and I’m single so date me!
4yo: I like cupcakes! (#truth)
- What kinds of qualities does a good boyfriend have?
8yo: Smart, funny, cute, nice, thoughtful, and willing to help others. (Maybe I don’t have to worry about her.)
4yo: They have fun with you. (Very important!)
- Where is the best place to find a boyfriend?
8yo: A dating website.
4yo: The park. (Probably not the best idea.)
And last, but not least, some of the best messages I’ve received so far:
To be continued with Bachelor #8…